True Love's Kiss, or So I've Been Toad
by SandmanCircus
Summary: AU. After buying the wrong potion from a seller named Blair that might have been feline a little too mischievous, Eruka finds herself being ribbeting in all the wrong ways - which is to say, she turned into a frog. When the only cure seems to be true love's kiss, she reluctantly recruits her big, bad, smells-like-a-dog-in-the-sun friend who has a howling curse of his own. Freeruka.


The water had taken thirty-six minutes minutes to boil that morning.

The thought repeated in her brain, a mild annoyance as the steaming water passed through the tea strainer balanced precariously atop a chipped, yellow mug - one she'd taken from the kitchen two jobs ago and forgotten to return. Once the tea leaves floated and swirled near the brim, Eruka carefully righted the copper kettle and set it back on the stove. She brushed out her skirt, the folds of which she'd used to protect her palm as she poured the tea, and set out to finish a few chores while her tea brewed.

The water had taken thirty-six minutes to boil that morning. _Thirty-six minutes_.

Eruka knew because she'd timed it. A time which she had written down on a small napkin, beneath a neat column of ten other damning numbers that would hopefully convince her landlord that she needed a new stove. It was that or buy an electric kettle - which wasn't happening any time soon with her current state of unemployment.

Breathing harshly through her nose, Eruka reached for the watering can that lived on her windowsill and sat it down none too gently in the kitchen sink. The faucet screeched in protest but she jerked it around till water finally spewed out.

"Stupid boss," she muttered to herself. "Stupid stove. _Thirty-six minutes_. On what planet does that pertain to a _sufficiently working stovetop_ unless you are a weasel-eyed asshole with allergies to basic _hygiene_."

Eruka wrestled the faucet handle off before carrying the watering can from her sink to the sliding door of her balcony, where she'd amassed a decently sized garden over the years.

The door slid open and Eruka looked up to see a bloodied, giant, naked man groaning in her shrubbery.

The man, whose decency was maintained solely by the small blooms of her tomato plant, stared up at her with wide-eyed bafflement.

"Hello," he said, shifting so the bristles of her cacti garden were further from his groin.

"Hello," Eruka returned.

"This," he cleared his throat, eyes darting first to the open apartment behind her, then around to the various foliage he lay nestled among. "This isn't my apartment."

"No," she said. "It's not."

Eruka set her watering can down on the side table. A small spider that had been weaving her web between it and the railing hurried out of the way.

There was a long moment in which neither spoke a word. Eruka looked him over as he squirmed, noting how the light of the rising sun reflected off his bloodstained chest. She might have called it pretty had the medium not been so morbid.

"I suppose I had a bit too much to drink last night, huh?" he said with a forced sort of smile, the words loud against the silence.

Eruka sat down on the old bench beside her strawberries, the wood creaking as she settled, and leveled a look at the man squashing her begonias. She waited a beat, two - just until she counted two beads of sweat roll down his brow. "Free."

"Yes," he squawked, voice pitched several octaves higher than normal. He cleared his throat. "Yes?"

"This is the eighteenth floor."

"Ah. Right." Free swallowed, clenched his fist till the knuckles turned white. "Is.. is this aloe vera? Hear it's good for... stuff."

"Burns."

"Hm."

" _Free._ "

With a sigh his eyes found hers, wary and tired. "Eruka."

"Why are you on my balcony?"

He didn't respond, opting to stare down at the small potted aloe plant he'd yet to return to its home. Eruka waited as the seconds passed, but Free stubbornly kept his eyes down and his lips sealed.

Eruka stood. "I'm calling the cops."

"No! Wait!" Free stumbled to his feet, knocking over pots and ripping through greenery. "Eruka!" He also landed on the cactus pot. "Ah! Fuck, my dick! God damn, fuck, shit, cock, wanker, piece of-! No, please, Eruka wait! Just talk to me!"

Eruka whirled around. Free stood a careful distance away, cupping his crotch. "Why should I listen to you?" she seethed. "This is the fifth time I've found you like this, and you refuse to tell me what's wrong! And my water took _thirty-six_ minutes to boil this morning so _do not_ lie to me!"

"I know, I'm sorry, please can we just go inside and talk about this? Your cactus stuck needles in my junk and it hurts, and I'm naked, and I think the old lady in the apartment across the road is looking at my ass. Not that I'd mind normally, but that was something you mentioned last time and..."

" _Your_ genitals assaulted _my_ cactus!"

"Seeing as _it_ did the penetrating-"

" _FREE!_ "

"It did!"

"Tell me what's wrong. _Please_ ," she spoke the words clearly, trying to meet Free's averted gaze. Her fists clenched.

"You won't tell me?" In answer, his lips pressed firmly together. " _Fine_. I'm done."

Free looked up, eyes wide and panicky. "Eruk-"

She threw her watering can at his head

…..

"I might be able to fix the stove," Free said through a mouthful of muffin. He was sprawled on her couch with a towel around his waist, flipping through a book she'd picked up on amateur spells.

"Like you fixed the toilet?" Eruka muttered, walking into the living room. She plucked the slim book from his fingers, ignored the grunt of protest. "No, thank you. I still have nightmares about the water damage. Here, I brought you something to wear."

"My college sweatpants!" he cried, spewing crumbs as he reached for them. Eruka's face twisted. "I was wondering where they went."

"You left them after one of your _surprise_ visits. You show up naked enough." She shrugged. "I figured I might as well keep them."

He grinned at her. "You're too precious." His voice as he spoke to her was, as usual, warm.

Whatever pleasant flutter Eruka might have felt in her belly at the comment was quickly forgotten as Free happily flung off his towel, which landed directly on her face.

Eruka shrieked. "Free!"

By the time she'd freed herself, Free was standing before her, hands on his clothed hips, with a wide smile. She threw the towel back at him, but he just laughed as he caught it and tossed it over the back of a chair. "So what are we going to do today?"

"We?"

"Yeah, I'm already here."

"You don't think I have plans?"

"Nope." He reached out to touch her neck. "How did you get this bruise?"

"Probably just dirt from the garden."

His hand remained at her neck, rubbing a singular spot with his thumb. Even as he spoke, his eyes remained focused on the task. "A new waffle house just opened a couple blocks away. We could get breakfast."

Eruka folded her arms, raised a brow. "I guess being a werewolf _would_ create quite an appetite."

"Don't know what you're talking about," Free sing-songed, though his lips quirked up slightly. "Ah, there we are. You were right - just dirt." His eyes lifted, full smile back on his face.

"Hm."

His hand dropped, and the moment was over. Eruka coughed, unreasonably warm, and took a step back. Free just smiled down at her fondly.

"You sure you don't want me to try and fix the stove?" he asked after a moment, chin jerking towards the kitchen.

"Positive."

Free scratched the side of his face. "You know, if I weren't so confident in my manliness, I might be offended by that."

She patted his shoulder, offering a smile as she passed him to fetch her purse. "I'm sure you'll live."

Eruka was halfway through slipping on her sneakers when Free's voice sounded once more. "So, is that a yes to breakfast, or...?"

Eruka scanned the coffee-stained newspaper, twirling a chewed-up pen in her fingers. As her eyes scanned the job listings, she half listened to Free's loud monologue about the decreasing respect for wolves in between giant bites of food.

"Mhm," Eruka replied absently when Free paused for effect.

His utensils clattered. "You're not listening."

Eruka circled a secretary job, but didn't look up. "I am listening. You think PETA is shit, you think zoos are corrupt, and you think people need to stop cutting down forests and leave wolves alone." Her eyes lifted and she grinned at Free's disgruntled expression.

"What are you looking at anyway?" he asked, digging back into his food.

"Jobs," Eruka muttered, folding up the paper and setting it aside. "Nothing's really caught my eye though."

"What's wrong with the one you got now?" he asked.

"I was fired." Her nose wrinkled as Free squirted a mountain of ketchup onto his eggs.

Free looked up abruptly. "You didn't tell me you lost your job."

Eruka cradled her coffee, the warmth seeping into and numbing her fingertips. "Yeah well, it's still a bit fresh."

"It wasn't the hedgehog thing was it? Eruka, I'm so sorry, I'll talk to your boss, maybe I can - "

Eruka waved her hand. "Free, I wasn't fired because you brought in a half dead rodent to my office and made me drive you to the vet." She paused a moment at the memory before adding, "Screaming and threatening my coworkers when they wouldn't tell you where I was may have lost me my Christmas bonus though."

"A hedgehog isn't a rodent."

" _Free_ -"

"Sorry," he said automatically. "Why were you fired then?"

Eruka shrugged, tracing the rim of the mug with her finger. "My boss is an asshole."

"Do you want me to-"

"No Free, I don't want you to beat up my old boss."

"- _Talk_ to him. I was going to say talk."

"Nevermind me, what are you doing today? Besides taking a shower."

Free had recently stuffed an entire waffle in his mouth, so it was a while before he answered. "I'm going to the shelter," he said after swallowing, already loading up his fork again. "Taking the dogs for a walk. Play with the cats. Clean."

"You clean up after animals and yet your apartment is a mess."

"I don't get puppy kisses if I clean my room."

Eruka snorted. "I'll kiss you if you clean mine."

When no retort came, Eruka looked up to see that Free had frozen, fork held aloft near his lips. His ears were bright red and he was watching her with wide eyes. It only then occurred to her what she'd said, the words repeating in her brain as horror washed through her. Eruka's face grew hot.

Free's lips opened and closed. After a moment he cleared his throat.

"I didn't mean it like that," Eruka stammered, once she'd found the words.

Free smiled stiffly. "Don't worry about it. Hey, are you going to eat that?"

Eruka shook her head and slid her toast across the table, so grateful for the change in subject that she didn't both complaining.

"So you have interviews?"

Tucking her hair behind her ears, Eruka nodded. "Three. I'm going to stop by the magic store on Fourth to see if I can find something for luck." Free's face immediately scrunched up and Eruka continued before he could interrupt, "Don't start. I don't want to hear it."

He'd made no secret about his dislike for magic, and though he didn't seem to mind the small spells she did on occasion, any powerful magic had his hackles rising.

"Maybe I should come…"

"Try it," Eruka warned. "Anyway, I should get going."

"Already?"

"Mhm." She shuffled out of the booth, hooking the strap of her purse over her shoulder. "I'll give you a call tomorrow if I don't find your ass up on my balcony."

"You love it."

Eruka placed her hand on his shoulder and bent over to kiss his scratchy cheek. His head tilted towards her automatically, the gesture a familiar one between them. "Keep thinking that," she teased.

"'Don't suppose you're gonna pay for your food?"

Eruka wiped away the red lipstick print with her thumb. "You're funny."

As Eruka opened the door to the old magic shop, she was welcomed by the scent of dried lavender, aged spices, and fragrant smoke so strong her nose tickled. It was pleasantly cool and dark compared to the blinding sun outside.

Rubbing her nose, Eruka took in the various trinkets and bobbles that lined the shelves and hung from the ceiling. Pressed weeds, jarred vegetables, pickled rodents, skulls, fingers, herbs—they all surrounded her in autumnal shades of red, brown, and purple. Bits of coloured glass and mirrors twinkled faintly from the ceiling, and would no doubt look beautiful in the evening light if not for the thin film of dust that coated them, accompanied by webs and furry spiders.

"May I help you?"

Eruka squeaked, jolting from her musings as she spun around. Her hand pressed to her chest; the beat of her racing heart heavy against her palm. The voice was deep, sensual, and unquestionably female. Its owner was even more so.

"Hello," stammered Eruka. "Where's Mizune? Doesn't she usually work at this time?"

"Family emergency—so she says. My name's Blair. Sorry if I spooked you," said the woman, who did not appear sorry in the slightest. In fact, she looked immensely pleased with herself - her full mouth curved up at the corners, faint crinkles beside her yellow, feline eyes.

"That's okay," Eruka said as she fiddled with the frayed string of her sleeve. Her face was hot, and she wasn't sure why she suddenly felt so shy. When her eyes darted back up to the woman leaning against the counter, she noted that her smile had widened.

"So what can I do for you?" the woman asked finally. "Love spell? Fertility?" A wicked, teasing grin. " _Virility_?"

"Luck," Eruka interjected, irritation sparking at the condescending glint in the store attendant's eye. "I need a spell for luck."

"Is that so?"

"Yes."

The woman straightened and rounded the desk, those queer, yellow eyes never leaving Eruka. "I think I have just the thing."

"You do?" Eruka croaked, confused at the sudden wicked delight visible on the other woman's face.

"I do." A clear bottle appeared in her hands - thick, green liquid filled up half way inside.

Eruka took the offering, frowning slightly. She popped the cork off the top and took a hesitant sniff: it smelt of grass, damp earth, and cool forest swamps. "This will give me luck?" she asked, looking up at Blair.

The woman's answering smile was so full of promise that Eruka had to look away. She was an odd mix of eeriness and sexuality, and at any moment one facet of her personality might overtake the other. It was a confusing contradiction that left Eruka ill at ease.

"You have my word."

"How much do I owe you?"

"It's a new recipe," Blair answered. "You can pay me after you get your results. Call it a house guarantee for success."

When Eruka would later look back at this moment, it would occur to her that the fact that the potion was free should have been her first clue that something was off.

"Go on then, bottoms up."

With one final glance at Blair, Eruka squeezed her eyes shut and downed the potion. It was thick, with a grassy aftertaste. Not unpleasant - but not something she'd want to drink a second time.

When she finished, Eruka licked her upper lip and carefully placed the empty glass on the table next to her.

She knew something was wrong almost immediately. Her eyes darted up.

"What have you done?" she slurred, dropping to her knees.

She felt the magic flow through her, in and out her pores, coursing through her veins. Her eyes closed. A finger touched her chin, lifting her face up. Eruka opened her eyes blearily, and found that calm, hypnotic yellow gaze staring back at her.

"You have till midnight." The words registered faintly in Eruka's mind, though she was barely able to concentrate on them. "True loves kiss will break the spell. Fail and it's permanent."

Just before Eruka's vision faded, she felt the press of soft lips to her forehead.

" _Good luck_."

…..

When Eruka woke, she had the distinct feeling that she'd been asleep for a long time. Her eyes were heavy, her limbs numb, her head fuzzy.

And it was dark, so dark that Eruka couldn't make out her surroundings. With sluggish movements, she felt around with one hand. Soft fabric met her fingers, and she gave it a tentative tug.

The world opened up, and Eruka squinted against the bright midday sun. She moved to brush a hand through her hair.

Slippery mucus filled her palm instead.

Eruka's stomach dropped, feeling physically ill as she looked down at her green hand, her body trembling. "Oh god," she whispered.

The spell. The witch.

"Oh… oh god."

Midnight deadline. True love's kiss.

"Oh my _god_ ," the last word came out in a shriek, and it seemed her legs had a mind of their own because she shot up into the air, falling back into a jar of spices. The sound of glass shattering had her bounding off again with a startled cry.

She landed in a ball of limbs, nestled in the large mound of fabric from earlier. Fabric which she realized in horror were her clothes. Quickly untangling her legs, Eruka looked around her, heart pounding loud in her chest.

She had to… she had to do something.

Faint rustling sounded from the back of the magic shop, and Eruka bounded for the door - not wanting to get caught under another spell. There was a small opening at the shop entrance, one just large enough that she should be able to squeeze through.

Unused to her new limbs, Eruka smacked headfirst into the wood, before quickly righting herself and squeezing through the small crack between the door and the frame. The sun shone high and hot in the sky, and her skin felt immediately tight under the rays.

"Ow!" Eruka looked down at the burning pavement, her feet sizzling at the contact. "Dangit," she hissed, darting into the passing crowd before she could think too hard about whether or not it was a decent idea.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, _shit!_ " The last ended in a squeak as a particularly pointy stiletto came close to impaling her.

 _This is it, I'm going to die_ , thought Eruka, hopping frantically through the startled legs of pedestrians. _I'm going to die as a fucking frog._ Just as the howling shrieks and angry heels seemed her doom, a side alley came into view and Eruka immediately altered her course and scrambled towards it.

It was cool and dark in the shade of the buildings and Eruka fell to the cement in a trembling slump. Her nose picked up a distinct scent, which she seemed to instinctively know was water.

To her relief and mild horror, Eruka found a small dirty puddle beneath a large dumpster. Her face wrinkled as she looked at it, inwardly debating whether rehydrating was worth bathing in garbage water.

The near painful tightness of her skin seemed to answer for her.

Feeling rather sorry for herself at this point, Eruka shuffled forward. The cool water was an instant relief, but did little to help her mood.

It was odd that she wasn't crying, Eruka thought, huddled miserably within herself. Usually she'd be a wailing mess at this point. Maybe she was too tired to cry.

 _Could_ frogs cry?

Exhausted and unable to leave with the sun so bright, she closed her eyes.

Just as sleep began to hug the edges of her consciousness, the sound of heavy footsteps jolted her to awareness, growing louder as they neared. With a startled croak, Eruka quickly shuffled back away from the rim of the dumpster, deeper into her gross puddle.

Two large boots stopped in front of her.

"Is someone under there?" asked a panicked voice, muffled by the iron overhead. A thumping knock resounded around the dumpster, and Eruka shrieked at the ringing in her ears - covering them with her hands. " _Hello?_ "

 _No one_ could know she was under there. It was impossible.

As though to prove that very thought wrong, two large hands gripped the edge of the dumpster and lifted it with a loud grunt. Eruka squeaked, too frightened to move.

Once the dumpster was high enough, Free lowered his head to look underneath. When he saw Eruka staring back at him with wide eyes, he nearly dropped it on her head.

" _Eruka?_ Is that you?"

" _Free!_ " Eruka cried, hopping towards him. "How are you here? How did you know it was me?"

He leaned down and scooped her up, cradling her carefully in the palm of his hand as he let the dumpster drop back to the ground with a heavy _thud_.

"I could smell you," Free explained. His grip tightened a fraction, just enough so that she felt more secure. " _Death_ , when I caught your scent under there I thought-" he stopped himself, breath caught. Free shook his head, blinking rapidly.

"Something _has_ happened!" Eruka wiggled in his grasp until he gently - albeit reluctantly - placed her on the ground, crouching down beside her. " _Look at me!_ I'm a _frog_!"

"So I see," he said, peeling off a candy bar wrapper stuck to her back.

"It's a spell," Eruka croaked, hopping closer. "Now I'm gonna be stuck like this _forever_."

Free frowned, tossing the wrapper into the trash. "That's not how spells usually work. Are you sure there's no clause?"

Eruka sniffed, her throat tightening. Against her will, the warm feeling of safety Free provided released the gates on her tightly wound emotions. "I have to find my true love and get a kiss before midnight."

"Ah, I know this story."

Eruka rubbed her face. Tears brimmed. "Yeah, well, there's no prince charming behind all this _mucus."_

"Hm, I'll admit you're no prince, but you're certainly charming."

" _I'm doomed,_ " Eruka wailed, holding her head in her hands. Big tears fell from her eyes as she slumped dramatically to the damp ground. "I haven't been able to keep a relationship for longer than a month _in years_. And looking like _this_ the only guy I'm going to get is _in a lake._ " Eruka paused, abruptly turning to Free, her small hands wrapping around his thumb. "Oh, Free, I'm going to have to _fuck a frog, aren't I_?"

Free huffed out a shaky laugh. "Alright there, buddy, I think we should get you out of the dumpster water. Okay, okay, enough crying. You're going to dehydrate, silly frog."

" _Don't call me a frog!"_ Eruka cried, clinging to Free's large hand as he gently picked her up and began walking out of the dark alley. His large hand hovered over her as a shield against the sun.

"Let's get you away from the dumpster. Then we can think about how to fix this, hm?"

"Why are you so calm about this?" she mumbled.

Free remained quiet for a long moment, his eyes focused on something inconsequential in front of them. He took in a hitching breath. "Honestly? I'm just so happy you aren't lying dead under that dumpster." His smile was weak as he met her eyes. "You scared the shit out of me."

Eruka stared up at him silently. Then, with a sigh, she reached out and gripped his thumb. "I'm right here, Free. I'm _green_ … but I'm here."

His eyes met her own, his lips twitching. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

…..

Free and Eruka sat together on a bench in the park, eating ice cream. He'd gotten a double scoop in a waffle cone for himself, and a single scoop in a cup for Eruka. He'd also fashioned her a tiny umbrella from a large leaf to protect her from the sun.

She wasn't entirely sure _how_ they'd ended up here, with her life on the verge of ruination and all, but Free had been adamant. Something about ice cream making him think better.

"Shouldn't we be trying to fix this?" Eruka asked, glaring at the mint chocolate chip in front of her. It was usually her favourite flavour but, for obvious reasons, the colour was pissing her off. She looked up at Free; he was scarfing down the last of his cone.

"Mm, probably. Got any ideas?" he asked, using the bottom of his shirt to wipe his face. Eruka pointedly refused to look at the tan, muscled skin of his torso. "Hey, are you gonna finish that?"

"Knock yourself out."

"Thanks." Free eagerly scooped up the small bowl and spoon, both of which looked almost comical in his large hand. "So, I was thinking-"

"Careful."

" _I was thinking,_ what if true love could be family members?"

"My parents are dead."

"I know, but what about distant cousins?"

Eruka thought a moment, then shook her head. "I haven't talked to any of them in years. Last time I heard from one was during the will reading - my great aunt was mad she didn't get the boat."

Free hummed, licking his lips. "Man, if only you had a dog. If you got one when I told you to this wouldn't be a problem. One lick and you'd be cured."

"I can't have pets in my apartment."

Free had finished up her ice cream and was holding the plastic cup, spinning it in his fingers. He was quiet for several moments, appearing to think over his next words carefully. He opened his mouth, then closed it. Finally, he cleared his throat. "Say... do you suppose... I would work?"

"You?" For the first time she was glad she was green - so he wouldn't see the heat blooming beneath her cheeks. "I, I mean, we could try?"

"Right," he said, his voice too calm. "Uh, I'll go throw this out. Then we can… get on that."

"Ok," Eruka squeaked, watching him shuffle away. As flustered as she felt, it was funny watching the 6'5" giant of a man hunch his shoulders and walk away like an embarrassed school girl.

What would it be like, she wondered, to kiss Free? Not that she'd never kissed him before, after all there was that one time in college when-

"Oh my, what are you doing here little froggy?"

Eruka jerked to the left to see a kind looking old lady reaching shriveled fingers towards her. Her eyes darted towards Free, who was still shuffling away.

"Poor thing, you must be lost." Before Eruka could think, much less hop away, she was caught by a surprisingly strong grip and tucked close against a lacy bosom. The opposite hand patted her roughly on the head.

"My grandson works at the most delightful little petshop. I bet he'd find you a new home."

Eruka struggled against the the wrinkled hands, straining her neck in search for Free. How long could it possibly take to throw out a freaking ice cream cup?

"My car's just over here."

The old lady turned, which allowed Eruka to see the bench she'd been taken from. Free had returned by then, and was looking around in confusion. His nose lifted, his shoulders rising as he took in a deep breath. Less than a second later he'd turned and his eyes locked on Eruka.

She lifted a useless hand towards him.

The woman stopped walking and Eruka heard the sound of tinkling keys. Her stomach dropped; they'd reached the old lady's car.

Free was now running towards them, eyes wide with panic.

"Ma'am!" he called, voice booming around the park, but hearing obviously wasn't the old lady's strength.

The door opened and Eruka was thrown in none too gently. She bounced lightly on the fabric seat, and was bombarded by the scent of mothballs and lavender perfume.

Disoriented by the smell, Eruka barely had time to scramble away as a giant floral tote descended towards her. The old lady dropped it with a thud and it settled deeply, reminding Eruka of a water balloon that had flattened again cement.

"Buckle up!" she chirped, then laughed at her own joke, closing the passenger side door. She turned and began the slow waddle to the drivers side.

Heart in her throat, Eruka hopped to the back seat and stretched her body to see out the window. Free was almost at the car. Eruka pressed her sticky fingers against the glass.

He was so close.

He would make it.

He would-

" _Aah!_ " the granny screeched. "Pervert! _Pervert!_ "

Free hastily backed away from the old woman, who was pointing her large nose in his face. Had the situation not been so precarious, Eruka might have been amused by the situation. "Ma'am, I'm sorry - but that's my frog. I really need her back."

"Well you obviously weren't taking very good care of it!"

"I know but-fuck!"

Grandma wound her pink, bedazzled purse back for a second hit. "Pervert!" she wailed, reminding Eruka distinctly of a whistling kettle. " _Perveert!_ "

Free flinched, curling away from her. The leather slapped him in the face and he skirted around the car. "Look lady, I just want my frog!"

"No!"

"But-"

"No! No! No!" She followed him, whacking him violently between her screeches.

"I-Hey! Do _not_ hit that!"

"Get away from my car!"

"Alright! Alright! I'm sorry!"

Free backed away from the vehicle, hands held up in a placating gesture, and the old woman stuffed herself into the front seat. Her scathing glare never left Free as she started the car and screeched onto the road - nearly hitting several people as she did so.

Eruka, who had ended up plastered against the old vinyl seats, recovered with a jerky head shake and climbed the seat to look out the back window. Her head peeked over the vinyl just in time to see Free jump away from a honking truck. His eyes were glued to hers. She wondered if he might continue to follow along the busy street, but he darted towards the sidewalk instead.

The car turned a corner, and Free disappeared from her sight.

Eruka slumped back down into the seat.

….

"Here we are!"

Eruka glared at the overly cheerful granny. The look was either ignored or went completely unnoticed as she was once again clamped in that iron grip and carried from the car towards an old looking pet store.

The windows were frosted, though the vague outline of boxes and trash could faintly be seen through. A bright yellow, overly cheery hamster had been stenciled onto the glass - eyes twinkling and cheeks puffed - below faded the "Death City Pets!" logo.

Someone had spray-painted a dick on its head.

"Shawn!" that crotchety voice cried once they'd entered the foul smelling store, "Shawn, honey, look what I have for you!"

A droopy eyed teenager shuffled out through the back, a box of cat toys in his arms. He had horribly clashing clothes (a nauseating combination of puke yellow and red) and black triangles drawn on the white strips of his converse shoes. What was, perhaps, the most unfortunate aspect of his appearance, however, were his red eyes - which Eruka was close enough to see were cheap sharingan contacts from that Naruto show.

"Grandma," the boy said in a long suffering sort of way, somehow slouching more than he had been before. When he spotted Eruka he groaned. "I told you to stop stealing animals from the park."

"Now Shaw-"

He flipped his yellow-ish, bleached hair out of his eyes. "Grandma, my name is Soul."

His grandmother ignored him. Eruka didn't blame her. "I saved it from a pervert."

Shawn/Soul set down the cat toys and folded his arms, sucking on the plastic vampire teeth in his mouth. "Look, grandma, I can't keep taking in your strays. I shouldn't have even taken the ones before - it's _illegal_."

"Now Shawn Evans, I know you get into your cartoons-"

"It's _anime,_ grandma _._ And it has _nothing_ to do with this!"

"But I'm just trying to be helpful. Wesley never spoke back to me like this."

Soul sighed before holding out his hand. His grandmother happily passed Eruka over into the clammy prepubescent hand. Eruka tried desperately not to think about where it'd been. "I'll put it in a tank with the other frogs."

"Oh, that would be wonderful!"

Eruka was placed in a cool, glass terrarium. Immediately the stiffness in her skin eased and, despite herself, she relaxed in a soothing puddle. Outside the tank, the two continued to speak.

"Have you talked to that nice blonde girl again?"

"Nah, we just had the one project together. Do you want tea, or something? There's some in the back."

The cage was spacious, and filled with damp earth, moss, and leafy vines that twisted from one corner and curled up and away from the lid overhead. Half the tank was surrounded by a warm pool of water, which held the swollen remains of dead bugs.

Her stomach grumbled, and Eruka pointedly looked away.

It wasn't a bad cage, she supposed, for a _frog._

It was then that the pet shop door gently opened, and Eruka jumped from her puddle and towards the foggy glass. The figure appeared to be quite tall, and for a wonderful moment Eruka thought it might be Free coming to save her. Instead, a rather odd-looking fellow walked in, a frayed lab coat hanging limply from his shoulders.

"Pardon me," he said, voice low, with little emotion. "I need an animal."

Soul frowned at the man, who easily towered over him and his grandmother by a good foot and a half, even with the unattractive slouch in his shoulders. Soul cleared his throat. "What kind of animal?"

The man adjusted round glasses over his pale, large-ish nose as he surveyed the room. The gaunt quality of his face was made overly apparent by the florescent lighting of the store. "Something that isn't a fish," he answered.

"Did you want to look around, or…?"

"Okay." With that, the man walked towards her, eyeing the various rodents and amphibians on the wall with a cold, calculating stare. The closer he grew to her terrarium, the more frightened Eruka became.

Her eyes darted to the two arguing by the cash register. Surely they wouldn't let this maniac buy her? Anyone with eyes could see the man _in a lab coat_ wasn't looking in a petstore for a loving companion.

"You."

Eruka had to stop the horrified shriek as she looked up to find those two probing eyes staring down at her with interest. How on earth had he reached her so fast? He was on the _other side of the store!_ The man lifted the lid and snatched her up with practiced ease.

"No grandma, I like that one, swipe right!"

He arrived at the counter, and gently cleared his throat. Soul and his grandmother looked up from his phone. "Excuse me, I'd like to buy this frog."

Eruka whimpered.

It was dark by the time Eruka was taken to her new "home", the man having stopped at a few stores before heading towards his house: the pharmacy, the hardware depot, and a specialty knife shop.

He was now carrying her through the dark, cold hallways of his home and down, down, down crooked, creaky steps. The basement was a good five degrees cooler than the upstairs, and it had a damp and dank quality to it.

By this point, Eruka was less worried about the spell and more concerned with staying _alive_ past midnight.

The mad scientist, as Eruka had resentfully dubbed him, carried her to a thick metal cage and dropped her in. The latch at the top slammed shut like a death sentence.

He turned away, and soon the sounds of instruments being assembled and cleaned echoed around the dark room. The scientist covered his mouth with a mask and pulled on two gloves - each with a morbid _snap._

Slowly, the man faced her, the dim light reflecting off his glasses so she couldn't see his eyes.

Eruka backed away, pressing against the bars of the cage, shivering.

For the second time that day, his cold fingers squeezed around her middle and lifted her up out of her cage. She watched, despondent, as her tiny green feet dangled below her - waiting for the wicked man to bring her to her doom.

"Honey!"

Warm, yellow light filled the basement, vanishing the shadow of even the darkest corners. Eruka squinted.

"I'm working," was the man's muffled reply.

"Stein, get your ass up here. Dinner's ready."

" _Working_."

"I made apple pie."

Stein, with his crooked spine, pale skin, and altogether evil aura, turned towards the woman atop the stairs silhouetted by golden light.

"Home-made crust?" he mumbled, and the garbled words held the most emotion Eruka had ever heard from the man.

"'Made it myself this morning."

"Mm," he grunted.

Then, as though working on autopilot, he placed Eruka on the cool metal table and shuffled across the room. Once he reached the woman at the top of the stairs, his long, thin fingers curled around her sleeve and he brushed the skin of her wrist with his thumb.

Eruka could only stare dumbly as the door fell shut behind them, the basement once more swallowed in darkness. Had he forgotten about her? No longer able to hold her own weight, Eruka numbly slumped to the floor, breathing with some difficulty.

"I was saved by pie," she choked. " _Pie_."

"Eruka!"

She whirled around. Through the small window at the top of the wall closest to her, a scruffy face stared down at her with a grin. "Free!"

He was breathing heavily, his hands clutching the steel bars attached to the window. "Hold on," he said, examining the metal. "I'll get you out of here."

Eruka wobbled to her feet. Tears threatened to spill. "How did you find me?"

"I followed your scent to that petshop," Free grunted, fingers straining against the bars. "When I explained the situation to some scene kid that worked there, he got all flustered in front of his girlfriend... God, what are these made of?"

Eruka rubbed her eyes and hopped forward. "Maybe I can get to you."

"Careful," he whispered, "this place smells like a fucking morgue. No telling what shit you might step in. Anyway, the kid described this scientist person and his girlfriend knew who it was and pointed me here - no, don't step there; there's spilled blood next to that jar of eyes."

Grumbling, Eruka adjusted her route, inching closer to Free with each careful hop. "That's it, almost there."

"Shh!" Eruka hissed. "This is stressful enough as is!"

"Wait! Don't get stuck in the-"

A cool squishy sensation burst up through her toes. When she tried to pull away, her foot remained stuck. "Euggh! What is this?"

"You don't want to know," Free answered, before his head darted upward, nostrils flaring.

" _Is someone down there?_ " The scientist's voice echoed through the door. The knob rattled.

"Free!" Eruka struggled, her throat tight. " _Free! I can't move!_ "

Wordlessly, Free renewed his efforts on the black bars, growling with the strain. They creaked, but remained otherwise unbent.

" _Hurry!"_

"I'm trying!" he hissed.

"Try _harder_!"

Muffling a curse, Free closed his eyes as hair burst forth from his arms and his fingers grew into claws.

Just as the door to the basement opened, the bars gave way, and Free dove through with his upper body and grabbed Eruka. When he pulled them both back out the window, the remnants of the bars caught and tore Free's skin and clothes. Aside from a muttered oath, he paid it no mind.

"Are you alright?" he asked, tucking her close as they hurried through bright yellow sunflowers and into the darkness. He was careful not to touch her with his claws.

"Yes. Just get me out of here," Eruka gasped, clinging to his shirt. " _Please_."

"Hold on," he growled, gently bringing her to his shoulder, where she tucked herself close to his neck - the cotton shirt collar gripped tightly in her hands. Fur grew out from the remainder of his flesh, and his face elongated to compensate for the mouthful of sharpened teeth he now sported.

Free started with a gentle lope, but soon they were running swiftly through the streets. Eruka ducked behind his neck, holding on tightly. Whatever triumph she might have once felt at being proved right about his werewolf side was swamped by relief.

"I'm so happy you're here," she whispered to him. A muscle beneath his neck twitched, but he remained otherwise unresponsive.

They soon arrived at her apartment, and Free quickly scaled the side of the building - claws finding purchase within the grooves of the building. When he reached her balcony, he was careful to avoid the cacti garden - though he did step in her strawberry pot with a muffled "shit!". Eruka couldn't bring herself to care too much.

At this point he could quite literally burn the world and she would watch him like the stars were born from his eyes.

Slowly, he reverted to his human form, shoulders shuddering and bones cracking as he shook himself out. "Home sweet home," he whispered. He sounded tired.

Free settled into the loveseat he usually sat in, and allowed Eruka to hop off onto the armrest. "Are you alright?" he asked gruffly.

His eyes were closed, head resting against the back of the couch. Eruka reached out and touched his arm. "Are you?"

He huffed. "Better now."

Eruka's lips twitched, looking down at her feet. The smile faded when her gaze moved to the red lights on the stove. 11:20. "Will you..." she began, turning back to face him. She licked her lips. "Will you kiss me?"

After a moment, Free's eyes opened. "Finally fallen for my rugged good looks, then?"

"I prefer to blame it on your school boy charm."

Chuckling, Free sat up. "Can't argue with that."

A charged moment passed, in which they simply regarded one another in silence. Then, so gently she scarcely felt it, Free leaned down and pressed his lips to the crown of her head.

For half a beat, Eruka thought it hadn't worked, and she immediately turned to console the giant softy in front of her. Before she could say a word, however, the familiar tingle coursed through her fingers and up her arms.

She looked at Free, took in his wide eyes and open mouth. His hand reached out for her, but stopped before it connected with her skin.

Agonizing pain tore her apart, rippling and stretching her bones. It lasted seconds, felt like hours, and afterwards Eruka lay in a collapsed heap on the ground, her skin damp and chest heaving.

Warm, dry hands glided up her arms, trembling.

Eruka looked up at Free, who had come down to sit on the floor with her. Her hair brushed her shoulder, and Eruka felt tears fall down her cheeks. "I'm...I'm _naked_."

Free laughed and pulled her into a tight hug, rocking her back and forth.

….

Eruka woke sleepy and warm. The dim light of morning shone through the window into her eyes, and she yawned and rolled over. She blinked tiredly at the lightly snoring man beside her. With a finger she reached out and traced the line of his brow, the bridge of his nose, the bow of his lips.

"Morning," he murmured against her finger, head shifting to gaze at her.

They hadn't moved from the spot they'd fallen asleep at the night before, shortly after Eruka's transformation. Though sometime during the night, Free must have pulled the throw from the back of the couch over her. It was tucked neatly around her, from her shoulders to the tips of her toes.

Eruka shuffled closer. The bridge of her nose brushed his jaw.

"I'll lay down my cards if you lay down yours," he murmured against her hair.

She pressed her hand flat against the warmth of his chest, spreading her fingers. "I'm probably in love with you."

He grinned, fingers playing with the ends of her hair. "I'm probably in love with you too."

"Huh."

Free laughed, and Eruka sat up to watch him.

She leaned in and pressed her lips against his. He jerked beneath her at first, but soon his eyes closed and he reached up to gently cup her face in his large hands. Free's lips moved carefully against her own, his teeth playfully nipping at her bottom lip. It was tender, sweet, and did funny things to her stomach.

Free pressed one last kiss against her lips before pulling back. She opened her mouth to say something only to find her mouth covered with his again, this time with a pained groan that had her toes curling.

They parted, both breathing deeply. "I've wanted to do this for so long," Free whispered, tucking her hair behind her ears. "You can't even imagine."

"I might have an idea."

Free smiled, leaning in to rub his nose against hers. Eruka laughed and pushed him away.

"I'm so happy," he said, pulling her close and kissing her cheek. "I can't remember ever being this happy."

Eruka hummed in agreement.

"Are you feeling okay this morning?"

"Less _green_ , anyway," she answered, propping her chin on his chest. A grin creased her cheeks. "I _knew_ you were a werewolf."

"You _guessed_. You didn't _know_."

"Shut up, I did too."

"Nuh-uh."

" _Free you_ -eep!" Eruka was consumed by a puff of smoke and was left sprawled over Free's chest. As a frog.

She looked up at Free in horror, who stared back at her, equally surprised.

"What the fu-aah!" Just as fast, the plume of smoke re-appeared and she was her normal human - albeit naked - self. Free caught her by the arms before she lost her balance.

She clasped his forearms back, chest heaving. Her eyes met his. "That's new."

…...

Outside, a black cat stared in, a satisfied curve to her lips. She hopped down onto a nearby ledge and trotted away - eager to tell Mizune that the young witch would do as her replacement.

...

...

...

 **A/N** : This is my contribution to Reverb 2016. I was given a general premise by my partner, Howlingmoonrise, along with several pieces of art which I had to build a story around. Howl can also take credit for the pun-tastic title and summary.

BIG, big, thank you to my betas: Jak (therewithasmile), Howl (Howlingmoonrise), and Proma (Professor Maka). Also an additional thank you to Howl for helping me work out kinks in the early planning phase.


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